... ANOTHER SEASON

Seasons are good to have weather wise... but not necessarily in life seasons. 

Things must change, enevitably so, for life must go on. 

Humans and animals alike get old and time takes its toll. We hate to witness it or be a part of it. 

The loss can be heart wrenching, life changing, physically can take a toll that may take a long time to recover from.We ALL will have to go through it, some more often than others, and it affects everyone differently. Life can be so GOOD, and then WAM, it can just disassemble your day to day. Recovery is a journey. Hoping to gain some coping mechanisms for the future as more of this loss is sure to come. Not that I havent had loss, my grandmother in my teens, grandfather in my twenties, my cat and horse in my thirties. Losing a life that you nourtured from a baby, and was a significant part of your daily life, that brought you happiness in so many ways for 10 years, sadly gone in an instant for no reason at all is hard to comprehend. HONESTLY, I had no idea how to relate to people that lose their loved ones and leave flowers year after year, and constantly bring it back to rememberance. 

I just couldnt get why people would hang onto their loved one in such a way that was so detrimental to their own lives and progress of healing. Seriously, I had no idea how they felt or why they couldnt cope until it happened to me. I now understand, but it pales in comparison

 as I only have my sweet Chloe Sophia Darling to understand their pain.

One way to heal is REPLACE that void as soon as possible. Harder to do with humans than pets for sure, but it does help to nurture and be nurtured, though knowing that you will have to endure it again in a decade does deter some as the older you get the harder it is to actually endure the loss. Hoping I will be Blessed with more than just 10 years. Jealous actually of the large dog owners that share the geriatric ages of their teen dogs! Painfully discusted actually that as much as I loved her and took care of her she couldnt make that additional 5-7 year journey. Making me feel that the poisons I forced her to ingest for her own good was actually the shortened lifespan she received. GUILT is my main burden when recalling moments of "I should have known" or "why didnt I do this or that instead" or my all time regret is that last moment of her when "why couldnt I have sucked it up and been there for her" instead of being so self absorbed with grief that I couldnt cope enough for her last breath. Pitiful actually, I hate myself for it. Instead of recalling great and happy moments, my brain goes back to those very few horrible moments and tortures me. 

I have to learn to say, 

NOT TODAY SATAN ... NOT TODAY ... IN JESUS NAME. 

I have to learn to release that seed of black thought and receive the GRACE & MERCY and His Blessed Assurance that she is up there at Jesus feet being his daily blessing now. 

He is saving all my animals for me. All our favorites are his favorites. Our loves are His loves. 

Why wouldnt he have them bundles of love with him? They are his creations as we are.

I have seen a sign.... and I feel this way more than you know. It applies to all our furry favs.

"IF THER ARE NO HORSES IN HEAVEN... I AIN'T GOIN'!

and I would just add our pet babies too

I purchased a necklass that said it all,

"IF LOVE COULD HAVE SAVED YOU,

YOU WOULD HAVE LIVED FOREVER"

So true, so true.....

Forever Loved & Missed Dearly.

Chloe Sophia Darling

2008 - 2018

LIFE HAS ITS SEASONS

Time.... ever changing.

Seasons change.... life changes... and in it new beginnings...

And here we are... caught in the cycle of life, and how we handle the seasons of life.

Im going to be 48 this year.... well at the end of this year but still... OMG 48!

Depending on who is reading this ... some will say OH A BABE in the woods, and yet others... HOLY CRAP thats old! ... BUT SERIOUSLY... it happens so fast! 

One day you are the "Bag O' Chips" and the next day 

you are the broken lil pieces at the bottom of the bag!

Wanting to be healthy and youthful forever is unattainable usually, but I think it is time to take hold of the most important element in that which is EATING GOOD FOOD! Not processed, not fake, not sugar, NOT bread.... but healthy greens & meats. I KNOW... that can even be hard to decipher as our greens are mass produced and sprayed and GMO and all that jazz and our meats are much of the same. THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR A GARDEN and HOME GROWN grass fed!

Why we are so sick, and dumbfounded is the choices of what we put in our mouths! IMAGINE THAT!... OUR pets are dying and getting cancers and diabetes and we dont grasp the concept of its the same shit we put in our bodies or feed them from the table our food which is still POISON!

REALLY thinking about this lately and how we are all connected and going through the same process year after year in ALL AGES .... this sickness and dying from the inside is not just for the 60 plus group! OUR GUTS are the reason we get sick, and not just a common cold, its where we can get cancers and all kinds of crap.... so why not help ourselves and this beautifully built body that 

GOD created and feed it GOOD stuff so it can help us be a blessing for at least 100 years?

I am ready for the next step.... HEALTH, loving myself, accepting I am older and being happy where I am at.... I am just waiting for my brain to catch up and give up the vanity! Lets just enjoy every day and help people in our daily lives that need our love and support.

... AND LOVE OUR PETS AS THEY ARE NOT HERE LONG ENOUGH :(

WE ARE BLESSED TO BE THAT BLESSING EVERY DAY!